Sunday, May 31, 2009
Disparity
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Lines Lines Everywhere...
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Quantifying the Qualitative. I heart my life.
It has occurred to me that I have yet to blog-ument my weekend. I could tell this in story format but I would probably miss all the really good parts. Like the freshly scrubbed hulls bobbing in the water, sparkling in the sunsets, guarding the wind-swept beaches rife with endangered birds nesting in the dunes... But those things… We’ve all seen those things before.
So instead: My Memorial Day weekend started at 5:30 pm on Thursday as I housed a frosty brew at the Clam Shack across from the Fire Island ferry. It didn’t end until Monday at 10pm when I downed my last Budweiser on a rooftop deck in the Lower East Side. All with the people I love.
Everything in between can be summed up in bullets.
- 10 cases of beer
- 2 cases of liquor
- 1 case of wine
- 17 beds in a single house (1 on the roof)
- 2 tennis balls fished out of the ocean
- 3.5 miles to Cherry Grove via water taxi
- 17 hours of dancing
- 1 actual run-for-exercise (countless collective runs-for-exercise)
- 5 unofficial noise complaints from the cantankerous neighbors (1 visit approximately 2 hours into the weekend)
- 0 official noise complaints
- 1 well-loved beer pong/flip cup table
- 13 MILFs spotted in town
- 1.5 gas grills (18 packs of burgers, 16 hotdogs, 4 sausages, 3 jars of salsa, 2 tubs of pretzels, 1 jar of nutella, 18 limes, ½ a spatula)
- 2 trips to aforementioned cherry grove ( = 1 billion million gays)
- 5 old women, 3 gay boys, 2 straight girls, and a stripper
- 30 minutes of tanning on the beach
- 1 endless sci-fi walk with my favorite person
- 5 new facebook friends, 3 new friend-friends
- 1 investment banker (who mostly works out); 1 crazy-eyed girlfriend
- 357 guidos
- 5 family dinners
- 1 half-family… ‘nap’
- 7 minutes under the house (getting a volleyball)
- 2 adorable dogs
- 23 body-shots
- 5 bottles of vodka, 2 bottles of jack, 1.5 bottles of tequila and 1 bottle of jager’s worth of shot-shots
- 15 people with 14 closer friends and 5040 minutes worth of new memories to smirk about
- 522720 minutes until Memorial Day 2010.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Everyone i know is drinking or drunk...
Why do we love the crushing population of new York? Why do we adore walking into bars where nobody knows our names? The cheers of this world is niagra bar in the east village. 100% accessible by drunk with a photo booth to capture the revelr and a different bartender every night so you don't have anyone keeping tabs on you.
I'm too old for this. I want the girl I miss to be the girl i'm with.
I want the beer cooler to fill itself. I want to nap and wake up younger. How long does it take to grow happy? I'm beginning to think it takes a quadratic and a regression and nothing will ever be perfect.
My line of best fit will be made out of microns and cinnamon and Ralph Lauren polo sport. And it'll be awesome. I'll figure it out when I sober up. Oh how blogging is far more interesting when I can blog remotely. Drunk. On fire island. While the rest of the suits toil away in the concrete cubicles.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Monday, May 18, 2009
I just figured out...
Other things I thought about tonight: without an idiot president, politics are so purely about political things... This is mildly upsetting because it's hard to stay truly informed these days when you actually have to make an effort to know more than the president.
Also: I think gay sex is the only thing humans do entirely without an underlying "survival"/prepare for the apocalypse driver... Selfish bastards. And yet, how evolved!
Things that may or may not have led me to these musings: discovering remote blogging, dwelling on the evolution of my blog, deciding it may have regressed, wondering how Bristol's baby is faring in the wilds of Alaska, lions (i'm a geo-tard), tabby kittens, cute biracial babies, obama, biracial adults, gay sex.
Huh.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry