A, B, A, B, Up, Down, Up, Down, Select, Start

Everything I learned in life was culled from a solid foundation in video games.

1) Some enemies are destroyed by getting jumped on. Some enemies require precision fire-balling. Enemies that require fire-balling are often immune to jumping. Enemies that require jumping are often immune to fire-balling. There is a subset of enemies that respond to both. Figuring out how to handle hurdles will be painstaking and rife with trial and error. Wear supportive shoes.

2) Don't be afraid break bricks for fun, you never know what friends will pop out of them. Often the most unexpected people come out of the most unexpected places. Like babies.

3) When there are two variables, there are always only three options; speed and control are always up for grabs but grabbing them in the right mix for the right situation is tricky. Not knowing what you need in life is lethal.

4) Some portals take you places where only good things exist and leave you where you started. Some portals take you places you can't return from and test your every move. Some portals go no where at all. Be prepared for anything.

5) Never be afraid to re-do something easy to stock up for something hard. Like gathering flowers for protection before rescuing princesses from castles.

6) With 100 lives you tend not to appreciate the one you're living. Don't be surprised if 100 re-dos isn't enough.

7) If you get hit by the enemy once, you'll probably lose all your money. If you get hit a second time, you'll probably die. Money and turtle shells have shield-like qualities. Know how to procure both.

8) Swimming is slow and frustrating and sometimes you run out of air. Know your outs, avoid puffer fish.

9) Getting to Koopa via the Star World isn't cheating, the end is never as hard or exciting as you think it ought to be and, no, they don't give you a number to call in Japan to report that you've beaten the game and deserve worldwide recognition. Nope, not even if you beat it twice. Someday you'll even accept that no one ANYWHERE cares if you beat the game because...

10) The game will never be over. The princess will never be safe. Hold on to her for all you're worth.