Ebay was originally designed as a virtual auction house for the kinds of items that didn't have a standard retail value (example: jesus images in moldy grilled cheese sandwiches) and/or an established online retail venue (example: autographed entertainment memorabilia).
Recently, however, Ebay has transitioned into more of an inspiration for brilliant solutions to a host of problems. As I used to recite in my previous life as a corporate peon, Ebay poses an efficient, implementable, multi-facetted solution to several disparate though related recent 'issues'. For starters, someone has to reimburse Hillary. If Hillary hadn't blown her millions running for President, McCain wouldn't have ever chosen such an incompetent VP candidate. And if McCain had actually tapped someone with a resume longer than what a can of alphabet soup could string together, Obama wouldn't have had a chance in hell. Election 2008 would have seen a semi-centered power ticket square off against similar though leftist liberal long shots. Hell, even I would have actually bothered to weigh out my vote before snipping the chad off on the Blue side. (If you've never met me, picture a slightly shorter Heather Poe or Jay Leno. With boobs and browner hair. Awesome. Identity established.) Ugh. I digress.
So what have we learned so far? Hillary has a mountain of debt, probably bought by the Chinese, because she enabled what could be this monumental, historic, generation defining election to keep away from the slaughter-rule just by RUNNING! She proved that women care about women's issues! You. Go. Girl. Now, as McCain's popularity crests and falls with Palin's fashion scores, it's pretty obvious that Obama owes Hillary for tricking McCain into thinking the race was about cup size and therefore sabotaging his own sure-win!! Obama Brigade: Zero. McCain Train: Two. (cups) But, really, we all know it's about how many times you got felt up at customs! Trick-Y!
And why bring up the bailout? Because, seriously folks, my 401k can't GET any smaller!!!
So why throw all these nuts into the cracker? Because we can! But how???
Enlist the NAACP to impound the potential future VP grandchild to give to Hillary to be auctioned off on Ebay on the premise that Hillary finance the bailout. (After, of course, she repay the Chinese.)
Anyone? Anyone? That's what I call keeping it simple.
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