Death by Taxes

I woke up this morning to a few really great bits of communication.  The first one was a txt from a girl I've been chasing for months:  "I'm sorry, I was out of line, I'm really busy today but let's talk later."  Dun Dun Dun...   The second one was from my tax-people.  They sent me an email about "tips for surviving unemployment"...  

What?!?              ...                        They think I'm unemployed?  

Now, a speed bump in the road of a relationship seems like a standard growing pain but my tax people think I'm unemployed??!?  

Let me reiterate.  

The people who do my taxes have no idea that I get paid.  By anyone.  And I'm not really sure how to feel about that.  A little sad, a little ignored, a little unimportant...  Like my $29 per return isn't an admirable fraction of their business - And I worked in 5 states last year!!   ...  Frankly, I'm disappointed that such a bright, personable, intimate company with the friendliest virtual support desk has no idea who I am and/or has mis-fired their segmentation emails so egregiously that I feel alienated and insignificant.   oh H&R block, how could you?!

But I guess it's a good thing I have selective reading.  Because if one of these bits of communication had come without the other, I'd have either totally missed the absurdity of the second as I'd typically ignore H&R block for another 8 months anyway (seasonal affection disorder), or I'd have nothing with which to deflect the seriousness of the first.  Which is, after all, the point of this blog.  Deflecting seriousness with objectivity and befuddlement.  

I mean...  Really?  Don't you know me?  Don't you know how much this hurts??  How personally I'm going to take this?!                  You did my TAXES!!!!!